Ok. So, believe it or not, I do try to not be very political
here. I’m fully aware of the fact that opinions are like assholes, everyone has
one and thinks theirs is the prettiest shiniest most special one. Usually when
something in the news strikes a nerve, I get all in a tizzy and gear up for what
my sister calls a rant. I eventually calm myself down though, and remember that
with the crazy state of our world, adding my voice to the fray won’t help the
cause. But sometimes it’s hard to keep my mouth shut. Especially when it comes
to things I’m passionate about.
Things like gay marriage. Of course, you’re all aware by now that our president, Barack Obama,
made a pretty historic announcement this week. And while I am not naïve enough to ignore the timing of his announcement considering the recent vote in North Carolina, and the super convenient timing of the “discovery” that Mitt Romeny was apparently a teenage bully, I still think it’s a pretty ballsy move.
So it’s not really things like this and this and this that have me fired up. I expect reactions like that from a segment of the population. Again – opinions and assholes.
What has me fired up is that gay marriage is an issue at all.
I’ve talked about this with a lot of people over the years, and I am constantly astonished by how some people don’t see their own ignorance and bigotry when they try to defend their anti-gay marriage stance. They say things like “Can’t they be happy with domestic partnerships?” and don’t realized that that’s the same as saying “Can’t women be happy with being paid a fraction of what a man makes?” or “Why can’t black people be happy with their own bathrooms?” Funny, I thought we all agreed that separate is not equal a while ago.
Let me illustrate my point with a little story.
A few years ago I was at a friend’s wedding, sitting at a table with my parents and some of their friends. Conversation turned to my parents, who back in the 70’s bucked tradition and pissed off their parents by foregoing a church ceremony and simply getting married in court. One lady at the table, in her old school way of thinking, asserted that since they didn’t have a church wedding, my parents weren’t really married. My mother, bless her patience, tried to make things clear to her by pointing to the couple we were celebrating.
“Look at Jack and Jill” she said. “Before they had their church wedding today, they had to go to court and get a marriage license, right?”
“yeah…” confused lady admitted.
“Ok, so if they had to go to court to get a marriage license, that is what makes their marriage legal and valid. This church wedding is a religious ceremony, but it does not make their marriage valid to the government.”
“Oh, so you’re saying Jack and Jill are married twice?” Confused lady did not get it.
Listen, I’m not trying to bash anyone’s religious beliefs
here. I fully respect your right to believe and worship however you want as
long as you are not shoving your religion down my throat or hurting anyone
else.I even sort of respect a church's right to not perform a marriage ceremony for a gay couple, as icky as that is.
But the facts are that as a country, we have decided that marriage is regulated by the government. And our government does not discriminate. Therefore, basic logic dictates that if marriage is something regulated by the government, the government can’t discriminate by deciding who can and can’t get married.
I don’t understand why that is such a hard concept for people to grasp.
2 comments:
Dear NerdyBookGirl,
I enjoyed reading your opinion piece on Obama's "coming out" announcement. However, I must say that I disagree with you, slightly. I don't believe you've followed your logical thought process through to its absolute end.
My question to you is this: Why should we as a society even allow the government to regulate what we call marriage at all?
It seems strange to me that the government should have the right to officially sanction and license these formal, sexual relationships between two individuals. Perhaps we should also require reproductive licenses, no? Let's get that one on the California ballot! ;-)
I know, I know. Marriage, in the legal sense anyway, is a formal classification of a financial relationship between two individuals from the viewpoint of the government. However, why should a separate legal classification for this type of contractual agreement exist at all? Individuals enter into non-sexually-based financial agreements all the time, which provide adequate legal protections for all interested parties.
You're right. Separate is not equal. And I fear that for us single people out there, at least in my lifetime, we'll never have the same rights and benefits the married --- gay or straight.
NerdyPhysicsBoy
Hello NerdyPhysicsBoy - Clever -
In answer to your question: do I think it's strange that the government is involved in personal relationships at all? Yup. Do I think that marriage is an outdated institution? Yup. Do I think that people should be allowed to live and love as they please and that the government should stay out of it? Yup. (Do I see the irony of making these statements while wearing an engagement ring? Yup.)
But the fact is that marriage is not going anywhere. It's a part of the country we live in. So rather than debating the merits of whether or not it makes sense, how about we focus on making it an equal opportunity outmoded institution?
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