Things I’ve Learned While Unemployed

Some of you might know, or have figured it out from the decreased mentions of work around here and the increased amount of reading happening, that I have been out of work for a few months. Without getting into too much detail, since I know nobody wants to hear my sob story, this past February I became one of millions of jobless Americans.

It’s been an interesting few months to say the least. And I am super excited that I am headed back to work Monday. I’m lucky that I found a job that (fingers-crossed) is going to be a fun new challenge and hopefully lead to a lot of big things.

Given all that, I’ve been doing some reflecting. I like to believe that things happen for a reason. Even bad depressing annoying super frustrating things that piss you off and make you feel like crap. So I have to believe that all this was part of some bigger plan. And that there are some big life lessons I’m supposed to take from all this.

So here, in no particular order, are the things I’ve learned while unemployed: 

I Am Not a Morning Person – This is not really a new lesson. I’ve never liked mornings. I am the person that hits snooze a million times (sorry fiancé!) and would rather skip breakfast and run out the door at the last minute than get up with enough time to enjoy a bowl of Cheerios. When left to my own devices and with no reason to get up in the morning, my natural rhythms are on the nocturnal side. It’s much more normal for me to be up til 1am than to spring up from the covers at 6am. Next week is going to be brutal.

·         Recruiters Suck – I say this as a former recruiter. Someone who has spent years calling candidates and scheduling interviews - the whole shebang. Over the last few months I have received phone calls from a lot of recruiters. It was pretty obvious that most of them had not read my resume, at least not enough to know that I had no experience related to the jobs they were looking to fill. The most annoying thing though, are the recruiters that don’t call you back. More than once, hell, more than 3 or 4 times, I got voice mails from recruiters about jobs I had applied for. And despite my calling them back within half an hour, usually less, I never heard from them again. I get that recruiting is fast paced and that most recruiters go with the first person who answers the phone. But to not return a call in that short a time frame is just rude.

·         Pride is a Bitch – It was not my idea to leave my last job. Having to explain that to people is awkward. Not just in interviews, where you can creatively weave and flub your way around it, but in real life too. Having to tell friends and family that I was out of work was a very humbling experience. People are friendly and nice and supportive and do that whole, “Screw them!” thing, but it’s still humiliating. It took me longer than it should have to reach out to people, to network like you are supposed to, cause I didn’t want to have that conversation over and over.

·         Employed People Don’t Get It – They try. They want to help you and offer all sorts of job leads and other connections. But for the most part, they have no idea what it’s like. More than once I heard some version of “Oh but you must be enjoying all that time off!” And while yes, it is sort of nice (see the morning person thing above); the truth is that unemployment is not a vacation. There is no end date. And even with Unemployment Insurance, you are still broke. You spend your days slogging through job boards, wading through the labyrinth that is LinkedIn, and sending out more resumes than you can count. Even if you get to do all that in sweatpants, it’s still no picnic.

·         Having Time Off Rocks – I know, I know, I just said the opposite. But it’s still true. You can’t spend all day online. You’ll make yourself crazy if you don’t get your head away from the search for a while. So you have to find ways to fill your time. Preferably with things that don’t cost you money. For me, this meant a lot of reading. A lot of lying out in the sun. A lot of spending time with my family.  A lot of time at the gym (I like working out –who knew?!) And a lot of movies and mid-afternoon weekday dates with the fiancé – who happens to have a non-normal schedule.

·         I Have the Best Family and Friends – I know, totally cheesy, but it’s true. These last few months have been crazy. I have had a lot of down moments; lots of times where I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry with frustration and panic. I’ve also had a lot of amazing moments too. – a new niece! I’m engaged! And through them all, I have had a close circle of the best people on the planet by my side. They fielded tear soaked phone calls and panicked freak outs. They distracted me with drinks, cookies, and hugs. They say you learn who your true friends are during hard times. Well, I’ve always known, and they did not disappoint this time around.

Rapid Fire Book Reviews

So in the last week I have read three books. I know, insane right? Who has that much time on their hands? Well, I do. Did. Whatever. The point is, I read so much so fast that I fell behind on my blogging. I thought about skipping it, just moving on to the next one. But somehow that felt like cheating. Instead, I decided to put together a quick one shot deal and cover them all.

So here you go. Rapid Fire Book Reviews:

Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand by Helen Simonson  - Crotchety old men can either be super enduring or really annoying. Major Pettigrew is a little of both. Set in a small English town, Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand follows the Major as he deals with life’s little, and big, dramas. The story focuses on his developing relationship with Jasmina Ali, the Pakistani widow who owns a local shop. Needless to say, residents of this small sleepy town are not open to change, especially not the kind of change that allows them to accept this interracial relationship. On top of that, we get a lot of “back in my day” type of flittering about by the Major. Nobody is ever polite enough. Nobody ever follows the correct rules of etiquette or has the right level of respect. It’s frustrating. I wanted so much to like the Major. But he spends most of the book whining and whimpering and standing on the sidelines, never standing up when he should. Despite that though, Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand felt like watching a fun BBC mini-series. If that’s your idea of a good time, then pick this book up.

 There’s a (Slight) Chance I Might Be Going to Hell by Laurie Notaro ­- I’ve said it before, I Love Laurie Notaro. She’s hilarious. She cracks me up. And she has a distinct voice that makes you feel like you’re chatting with a friend over a drink swapping stories about your crazy family.  There’s a (Slight) Chance I Might Be Going to Hell is an odd little nugget of a novel. When her husband lands a job at a small college in Washington state, Maye finds herself a grown woman in a new town struggling to make friends. I have thought a lot about this actually. As an adult, how do you make friends? It’s not like when you are a kid and you could just play with random kids on the playground or have a whole classroom full of kids to choose from. But as an adult, especially one who works from home like Maye does, how are you supposed to meet new people? The town of Spaulding is a quirky place and almost a character on its own. And as Maye finds her place in it, we get to meet the bazar people and things that surround her.

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling-  I always love a funny chick. And any women that can parlay her sense of humor into a career gets my vote. Mindy Kaling is up there with Kristin Wigg and Tina Fey as one of the funniest women working in comedy today. Her book is a collection of essays that range from autobiographical stories from her childhood to hilarious lists of what it means to be a good girlfriend. This is one of those books that I think every young woman should read. Because when you look beyond the silly stories, this is a book about a woman who followed her ambition and made a successful career for herself. And she did it without having to resort to sex tapes or fake boobs. She’s not really trying to give people advice, but I think that any girl with big dreams can learn from her example. It’s refreshing to hear from someone who had a normal childhood. That likes dating but not one night stands. And that likes her parents and enjoys hanging out with them. You always hear stories about people who overcame a traumatic childhood to make it big. But I dig that Mindy is just a regular girl who got what she wanted. Gives all is other regular girls hope.

A Discovery of Witches - Deborah Harkness

I admit that I am easily influenced. Especially by people and things that I trust. I mean, if Entertainment Weekly  tells me a book is good, chances are I’m gonna read it. That’s why A Discovery of Witches  by Deborah Harkness has been sitting on my “To Read” Goodreads shelf for so long.

Having read some reviews, and the dust jacket, I knew the story centered on a witch and a vampire. But somehow, I was not really ready for the amount of supernatural stuff going on. Not that I am complaining. It’s just odd when you expect one thing and get another. Like when you think Magic Mike is going to be a fluffy fun movie about male strippers and it turns out to be a (pretty good) movie about the dirty reality of life as a male stripper. Again, not complaining. I’ll take any chance I can get to watch Channing Tatum, Joe Manganiello, and Adam Rodriguez strut around in their underpants.

Anyway…

Basically, A Discovery of Witches is what would happen if The Da Vinci Code  and True Blood had babies. And I mean that in the best way possible. The story centers on Diana Bishop, noted historian with a specialty in alchemy. She’s also the last in a long line of powerful witches, even though she refuses to use her gifts. She comes across an ancient and powerful text called the Ashmole 782 (I have to admit, I giggle every time I read the word Ashmole – looks way too much like asshole! I am such a child!) and that’s when all hell breaks loose. The discovery of the text triggers all sorts of strange events and also brings out all sorts of supernatural beings.  In this world, there are four types of creatures roaming the earth; humans, witches, vampires, and demons.  Each wants access to Ashmole and is willing to use any means to get to Diana since she seems to be the only person who can summon it.  

Its 600 pages of Diana coming to terms with the knowledge that humans are not alone and learning that in order to survive in this new world, she has to embrace the magic within herself she’s been stifling since childhood. But really, at its core, A Discovery of Witches is the love story between Diana and Matthew Clairmont – the vampire that she falls in love with despite warnings from everyone that witches and vampires shouldn’t mix.

And here’s where my beef starts. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed this book. The writing is great and really engaging. The pacing is strong and moves you through all sorts of twists and turns quickly. I’m on board with this world and all the magic craziness that’s in it and I’m sure I’ll read the rest of the series.

But. The whole time I was reading, I couldn’t help but be a little annoyed.  The whole vampire thing is still beyond me. I don’t really understand the draw. I mean, what modern woman wants to be controlled and dominated by a thousand year old dude? Harkness does a good job of showing us Diana’s reluctance to give in to Matthew’s controlling ways. But for the most part, the ancient vampire with all his old school views of the world gets his way. Diane spends a lot of time being led around, settled into chairs, carried onto couches, placed in seats. And even though she protests and makes a show of claiming to be a modern independent woman, she pretty much hands her life over to Matthew.

As I read, I couldn’t help but wonder:  how come there are so many stories about the strong powerful male vampire and the women who fall for his charms, but no stories about the strong powerful female vampire and the men who fall for her?  What does it mean that the whole vampire – damsel in distress thing is such a cliché, but it doesn’t work the other way around?

Now I know this is just a work of fiction, but I can’t help but put on my English Major pants and say that this book says a lot about what it means to be a modern woman. Or at least it makes you think about what it means that it’s so easy to accept a story about a woman who so readily gives up her life for the man she loves.  And how come there are so few stories about a man willing to give up his life for the woman he loves.

I know this is way more thinking that needs to be done here. But again, that’s why I am such a book nerd. Even in a book like this about vampires, witches, spells and magic, you get a look into the real world around you and the real issues we face on a daily basis.

Marrying Mozart - Stephanie Cowell

You know how they say you can’t judge a book by its cover? I always thought this meant the image on the front. Well apparently you can’t judge a book by its back cover either – at least not the back cover of Marrying Mozart by Stephanie Cowell.

The publisher’s blurb is accurate enough when it comes to what the story is about; the intertwining lives of the Weber family and a young Mozart at the start of his career. But, the quote from Opera Cues that says the book is, “A frolicking romp…light and fun” is pure bunk. So is the quote from Newsday that calls it, “A splendid, shimmering comedy of manners.” Marrying Mozart is no rollicking comedy. This book is depressing. And has one of the most annoying, nerve wracking, pain in the ass characters I have ever encountered.

Before this book, I had never given much thought to Mozart. He was always just a fierce face in a white wig hovering on the wall in old elementary school classrooms. Now though, having a small understanding of what his life was like and the challenges he faced, I have a small soft spot for the guy. Like the child actors of today, it can’t have been easy for him to grow up always in the shadow of his own youthful image. He spent most of his adult life trying to recapture the fame and success he had as a young musical prodigy. But, when you make your name as a fresh-faced baby-genius, people have a hard time taking you seriously as an adult. Just ask Miley, Lindsay, and any member of any boy band ever.

On top of his professional challenges, Mozart somehow found himself drawn to the Weber family. As they are in the book, I can’t understand why. A music copiest, his horrid wife, and their four daughters somehow managed to sink their hooks into Mozart, and the poor guy could not get free. He first falls for the pretty  second daughter, who then gets herself knocked up before running off with a painter. Then, he thinks it’s a good idea to take a room in the boarding house they run. And then he eventually falls in love with and marries the third sister. It would make a good soap opera, if it wasn’t so damn sad.

It’s damn sad and depressing because Maria Caecilia, the shrew of a matriarch of the Weber family is one of the worst people I’ve ever read about. She spent her whole life scheming and plotting and manipulating to try to marry her daughters off to the highest placed men she could find. She sort of reminded me of Mrs. Bennet from Pride and Prejudice, except that where Mrs. Bennet was trying to get her daughters taken care of, Mrs. Weber is more concerned about what her future sons in law can do for her. More than once she shrieks about how ungrateful her daughters are and how dare they not be worried about her future and who will take care of her when she gets old and don’t they understand it’s their duty to marry rich men so she can reap the rewards.   She’s the most maddening and annoying woman I have come across in a book in a long time.

Mrs. Weber did do one thing, and that’s increase my sympathy for Mozart. How he managed to spend his short life around this woman is beyond me. And that he had her in his ear while creating such beautiful music…well, that takes genius.

Snobs - Julian Fellowes

Reading is an expensive habit. And when you read as fast and as much as I do, and are as broke as I am, plunking down at least 12 bucks a pop every few days will eventually catch up to you. Or at least your bank account. That’s why I made a trip to my local library the other day. I practically grew up in libraries. By the time I was 10 I had read every book in the kid’s section twice and almost half of young adult wall at my hometown library. Libraries are happy places for me. You get to wander between the stacks and then sit in a big cozy chair to leaf through your selections. It’s like a treasure hunt. And it’s all free! Nothing better than that.

On this particular trip, as I made my way through the fiction section, I was surprised to see a cluster of books by Julian Fellowes. (I can’t say his name without thinking of Tracy Morgan – cracks me up every time!) I hadn’t realized that the brilliant mind behind Downtown Abby has also written a novel. So I scooped up Snobs without even reading the dust jacket.

Snobs is a particularly juicy look at the lives and loves of aristocratic British society. Except that instead of petticoats and horse-drawn carriages, these fancy-shmancy Brits are living today. Middle-class Edith, who has been brought up by an ambitious mother to want nothing more than to land an upper-class husband, does just that then she meets Charles Uckfield, the Earl Broughton and heir to the Marquess of Uckfield. But instead of a fairy tale happy ending, the story focuses on the disillusionment of getting what you always wanted.

Fellowes uses a first person narrator (who I just realized doesn’t seem to have an actual name) to take us through the ins and outs of this highly stratified world. He knows these people, how they think and act, and all the perks and pressures they deal with on a daily basis.  An actor by profession, the narrator grew up among the noble-born – he’s the perfect person to give us all the dirty details about how the other half lives, while still maintaining his street cred as just another commoner, just like us readers. One thing that bothered me about this, what bothers me about first person narrators in general, is that somehow they become omniscient and know all about what happens when they are not around. It’s a small picky point, but you can’t help but wonder how he knows so much about Edith and Charles’s wedding night.

Playing along the sidelines of Charles and Edith’s story are people from both worlds. Upper-class families with their customs, engrained traditions and social pressures. And lower and middle-class personalities dying to claw their way to the top – to a world they dream of as filled with glitter and privilege. It’s sad really, watching people with power and money wallow in the fear of losing it. Just as sad as watching those without it fester with jealousy and greed wanting nothing more than just a taste of the world they imagine.

We don’t really have a landed aristocracy here in the States. Sure there are a few established families, but for the most part, our nobility is in Hollywood. We look up to celebrities the way the Brits do their Earls and Barons. Our Royal Wedding was broadcast on E! and lasted 72 days. Maybe that’s why it’s hard for me to relate to anyone in this books. I’m obviously not one of the privileged few, but I also don’t want to be. If anything, Fellowes shows us that even if you “have it all”; if you’re miserable, you might as well have nothing.  

Dead Ever After - Charlaine Harris

Sookie is back! I’ve been anxiously awaiting the newest, and what’s been said to be the last, Sookie Stackhouse novel, Dead Ever After. And it’s finally here!

Actually, as I write this, I am re-watching a repeat of this summer’s True Blood season premier, so the fact that I am a fan goes without saying. What else goes without saying is that by now, these two worlds barely have anything in common. Allan Ball and his writing staff may be inspired by Charlaine Harris, but they sure as hell don’t mind veering away from her story.

This veering actually makes reading the books a little disorienting. The whole time I have to keep reminding myself that the Tara in the book is nowhere near the Tara on TV, that Sookie and Bill have a very different relationship in the books than on TV, that Alcide is a very different kind of werewolf on TV than he is in the books, and a million other little, and big, differences.

Anyway. Dead Ever After picks up where the last book, Deadlocked, left off. I think. From what I remember. Sookie is living with her fairy uncle and cousin, still dating Eric, still working at Sam’s bar, and dealing with the aftermath of her latest traumatic adventure.

Honestly, a lot of this book felt a bit repetitive. Thankfully, there are some self-aware moments where Harris even points out how crazy Sookie’s life is and how she often she finds herself in crazy-ass dangerous situations. This time, she is solving yet another mystery – who killed a random dead girl – and what does it have to do with Sookie and all the supernatural… things that always want her dead. In the midst of all the who done it mystery, Sookie is also finally figuring out her love life. Not to spoil things, but I have to say that she finally saw the light and ended up with the right man.

If Dead Ever After is the last book, I am both sad and satisfied. Sad because I like these people and their world and have enjoyed the time I have spent in it. Satisfied because, as much as I love it, I also think it’s time for it to come to an end. Unlike some series that just go on and on and on, repeating themselves and often getting more and more ridiculous, I think it’s smart for Harris to go out on top.

So farewell Sookie, Bill, Eric, Alcide, Tara, Jason, and the entire Bon Temps gang. Thanks for all the crazy vampires and werewolves, fairies, and shifters. And thanks to you Mrs.Harris, for letting us into your crazy imagination.